Conflict Communication
by Rory Miller
Conflicts are omnipresent: at work, with friends and family, between strangers, and certainly in violence. Why did your boss ignore a suggestion that could save millions of dollars? Why does the same argument keep coming up with your partner? When someone insults you, why do you get angry? Why do the strong harm the weak?
You have three brains.
The lizard brain (survival)
The monkey brain (emotion / social status)
The human brain (reason)
Each "brain" has a different priority and has evolved to handle different types of conflicts. They use different scripts and have a very clear seniority system.
No going back. After reading this book, you will never be able to go back. Even if you reject everything proposed in the program, even if you refuse to admit that your monkey brain has often controlled your life, escalations towards conflict will never be invisible to you again.
As the fortune cookie says, "Your life is about to change."
💬 Quotes
"The higher the stakes, the more important it is to be clear about your intentions."
"If you don't know what you want, you can't expect others to know."
"The best way to avoid conflict is to be clear about your expectations."
"The more you try to control the other person, the more they will resist."
"The best way to resolve conflict is to find a solution that meets the needs of both parties."